Monday, March 5, 2018

Good vs Bad in a Marriage... The Marital Bliss/Blah

One of my favorite songs by Anita Baker is Fairy Tales. The song speaks of a mother telling her daughter about this fairy tale life she would have with the man of her dreams. In the song she sings “He’d ride up on his horse and take me away one night, I’d be so happy with him, we’d ride clean out of sight.” She then goes on to sing, “she never said that we would curse, cry, scream, and lie.” Yeah, momma left that part out. She failed to say your Prince Charming may not always be so charming or some days your crown may be a little crooked. She failed to include that this fairy tale is only available on DVD/Blue Ray. Momma failed to mention after the, I do’s, it gets real!

In the beginning of the marriage we are in what I like to call a happy bubble. You’re in marital bliss, you’ve married your Prince Charming.  Compromising is easy, you guys agree on everything, you’re making plans and setting goals. You look forward to date nights and weekend getaways. You wear sexy lingerie around the house and to bed. You go the extra mile to make sure he’s comfortable by drawing his bath and cooking his favorite meals.  And then it happens, the bubble bursts.

          Marital bliss has turned into marital blah. He no longer compliments you, he’s all about work and/or has a hobby that takes up his spare time. The sexy lingerie has now become a moo-moo and satin cap. Date nights are few and far between, conversing is limited, and we assume they will tell us if something is wrong. Instead of planning our day/weekends with our spouses we make plans with friends instead.

How do you avoid martial blah? Stop expecting your spouse to be the person YOU want them to be. We often have expectations of our spouses we haven’t voiced to them and become upset when those expectations aren’t met.  We rely on them to make us happy or complete us, and we put burdens on our spouses that should be carried together. You have to be a team and most definitely a team player. Keep the lines of effective communication open, carve out time to spend with your spouse, just as any other appointment you may have; and get back to doing those very things that made you and your spouse fall madly in love with each other.

LaJuana Johnson born & raised in Birmingham, Alabama. Married to Detective Kyle Johnson. Mother of 3 beautiful girls and grandmother. Absolutely in love with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Teach Tuesday night bible study at Agape Worship Ministries and also serve as Armor bearer to my First Lady Miranda Harris. I love to sing, write, and entertain my family and friends. I am a survivor of domestic violence and host our Domestic Violence programs at Agape each year. LaJuana Johnson is also an upcoming blogger. Stay tuned for her blog. 


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